5 posts tagged “douchebag”
Show us something (or someone) you're sick of.
Some facts about Pete Wentz...
- Pete Wentz is German for "I am a fucking douchebag"
- If you say Pete Wentz thirteen times in front of a mirror in a dark room, Satan will appear and tell you to shut the fuck up
- Pete Wentz has no African heritage. I know, you were fooled by him constantly using slang associated with hip hop - often to embarassing effect
- His full name is Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III. No, seriously
- He did not, contrary to media reports, invent eye liner for men. Apparently, men have been wearing eye liner for a very long time - as far back as Egyptian times
- In April, he claimed stories about him impregnating fellow talentless oik Ashlee Simpson were a press fabrication. In May, after marrying, they announced Ashlee's pregnancy, with an Autumn due date. Babies take nine months to bake in the oven... nine months from May is February, so how could they possibly be having a baby in Autumn unless it was conceived... oh, before the "press fabrication"?
- I know this bullshit because you cannot escape this talentless vagina - he is everywhere, somehow becoming the poster boy for this scene people are referring to as emo that has nothing to do with actual emo (emotional hardcore) music
Jess told me last night that Pete Wentz had tried to kill himself. Now, I don't hate anyone enough to wish them dead, but my inner optimist was hoping for no more crappy Fall Out Boy albums and no more helping shitty bands like Cobra Starship kick-start their careers.
Sadly, it wasn't to be. The attempt was a couple of years ago:
http://www.nme.com/news/fall-out-boy/35325
Still, emo points for trying to kill yourself while listening to Jeff Buckley... in a fucking Best Buy (US electronics chain) car park. Way to go, douchebag. Were you wearing a Nightmare Before Christmas hoody too?
On a related note, there is a girl on the latest season of America's Next Top Model who looks like him. Can YOU spot the difference?
Dear Jesus,
Please make all the loud douchebags who are already drunk at 2pm die a slow, horrible death.
Amen
Today, I am listening to nothing but Mansun.
If you did not listen to Mansun, or you do not like them, you are, as my American friends would say "whack". You "suck, man". You're a "douchebag".
Sorry, I'm in a funny mood. This week is very busy.
Anyway, Mansun are great, two of my best friends are married because of a chance meeting at one of their gigs, and their music is off the fucking chain. I will make a Top Ten when I get time, but for now...
The common criticism of Americans from anyone who isn't an American is that a lot of them seem so loud. I know enough Americans (especially as I live in the country) to know that loud Americans are an exception and not a rule, but those exceptions seriously need volume controls.
The wall at the head of our bed is directly adjacent to the bedroom of one of our neighbours who is one such loud American. At all hours of the day, this guy does his country proud by tal- sorry, bellowing at his housemates about the most inane shit. Sometimes, clearly hoarse from all the bellowing, he turns up his really horrible music (usually Snow Patrol or similar).
He makes most of his noise really early on Sunday morning, or late at night on every night except Friday or Saturday - presumably because he is out drinking weak beer and being a douchebag in public on those nights.
Last night, he decided to go for a record. He was bellowing pretty much from the moment I got home at around 8pm. At around 1am, he started singing 'I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor' by Arctic Monkeys - the lyrics, at least, the tune was something of his own creation. I banged on the wall, and his volume reduced slightly for enough time that I could pass out.
At 6am, I awoke with a start. He was still bellowing, and judging from his comments to a housemate, he and his housemate(s) had been awake all night. Stuffing my head between two pillows, I managed to pass out until around 7.30am, when he had stopped. He had managed around 10 hours straight of douchebaggery, if only Norris McWhirter were alive to witness it himself.
Between this cockgobbler and the girls on the bus with mobile phones glued to their ears, the misconception that all Americans are in love with the sound of their own voice is all too easy to believe.
